


letters to a loved one

by sugarcubeshiro



Category: Voltron: Legendary Defender
Genre: Canon Compliant, First Kiss, Friends to Lovers, Love Confessions, Love Letters, M/M, Not Actually Unrequited Love, Past Adam/Shiro (Voltron), Post-Season/Series 07, Pre-Kerberos Mission, Unrequited Crush, can't call it 'unrequited love' because they both love each other, s8 doesn't exist though, the romantic part of it is just keith at first though
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2020-01-13
Updated: 2020-01-30
Packaged: 2021-02-27 06:21:58
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 2
Words: 8,035
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/22242535
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/sugarcubeshiro/pseuds/sugarcubeshiro
Summary: It’s not until he’s halfway done sorting through everything that he grabs a pair of pajama pants and two envelopes fall out from between the folded fabric of the legs.Shiro furrows his brows, looking down at where one of them landed on the floor by his feet. He puts the pants down and bends to pick it up before grabbing the other letter on his bed as well, then sits down on the mattress, tucking one foot under his thigh.There’s nothing special about the envelopes themselves. Regular old white paper, with a small“1.”and“2.”written on them respectively.Shiro hasnoidea who would have put them in there.
Relationships: Keith/Shiro (Voltron)
Comments: 119
Kudos: 494





	1. I’ll be here when you get back.

**Author's Note:**

> i'm slowly but surely trying to go through and publish my fics i've just been letting gather dust in a wip folder... i first wrote this after s7 and the second part should be posted soon! thank you so much to liz & audrey for all the help and cheerleading. <3

The Kerberos mission is four days into their steady course through space before Shiro even finds it. 

Matt and Sam are holed up in the lunch bay, engaged in yet another passionate conversation about something Shiro tuned out a long time ago. Interesting as he might find everything about space too, the Holts’ enthusiasm over stuff like the ice samples they’re going to be collecting a few months from now is a bottomless pit of neverending amazement. Shiro decided early on that it might be best to leave them to it every now and then if they’re all going to be living together for the next nineteen months or so.

After excusing himself and doing a quick routine check of the ship’s autopilot, Shiro heads to finally unpack the last of the things in his room.

The pilot’s quarters is a small space near the cockpit—not much, but Shiro’s more than happy with it. He’s got a bunk for sleeping, closet for his clothes, and a small desk on which he’s placed the three framed pictures he brought. One of them is of him as a kid at the beach with his grandparents where Shiro’s sitting on his grandmother’s shoulders, and next to it is an old faded photograph of a teenaged Shiro and his childhood dog Hubert. Then there’s a picture from last year of him fistbumping Keith out in the desert.

The hoverbike Shiro got Keith for his 17th birthday—red and old, same colour and model Keith’s dad used to drive—makes for the perfect background right behind them. 

Adam was the one who had snapped the shot itself, right after Shiro ran up to Keith after Keith hopped off his hoverbike. They’d both been whooping and cheering in celebration over Keith showing off his—newly learned but absolutely _perfect_ —cliff diving skills to Adam.

Shiro hadn’t even realized Adam was taking a photo at the time, since two seconds later he was busy yelling about how Shiro’s going to get Keith killed one day. Adam’s reaction was disappointing, but not very surprising, so Shiro didn’t consider it worth more than a clench of his jaw and a tight smile as he ignored him.

Adam had still printed it out for Shiro and handed it to him later, though.

And, god. Shiro loves that photo.

It’s such a great shot. The adrenaline rush and excitement is clear on both their faces, even if Shiro hadn’t done more than stand next to Adam below the cliff and watched as Keith raced right off it. 

Too bad he never got around to ask Adam to send him the original. Shiro would bet it’s been long since deleted off Adam’s phone by now, too, even if they’d actually been on speaking terms before Shiro left. At least Shiro has the printed photograph, though. He even got Keith to sign the back of it—teasing him that Shiro’s going to need some nice memory of him once Keith is a famous pilot and has forgotten all about Shiro. Keith had squinted his eyes at him, glaring in a way that Shiro learned long ago meant that Keith was thinking about how Shiro can be a little bit of an idiot sometimes. He’d still snatched the ballpoint pen out of Shiro’s hand and hastily scrawled in black ink, _“Not going to forget about you, old-timer! Sorry! You’re stuck with me forever now… whether you like it or not.”_ then signed it with, _“Keith Kogane,”_ right below it.

Shiro smiles at the photos, eyes lingering just a little longer on the one of him and Keith.

He knows it’s far too early to feel any sort of longing for something back on Earth, but he still sends some thoughts Keith’s way, hoping the guy’s doing okay. It’s not that he thinks Keith can’t take care of himself and he won’t be fine on his own, but—Shiro has always hated knowing that the reason Keith is so independent is because he’s already been forced to be on his own far too often for a kid his age. It’s hard _not_ to feel like Shiro’s abandoned someone who’s relying on him—someone he’s promised to be there for, his closest friend, even though Keith has never done anything to make Shiro feel that way. Keith would probably punch him in the face for being dumb if Shiro ever told him, but. Still. 

Now he won’t even be able to talk to Keith for the most part of the time this mission is estimated to take. His only way to check up on him is hoping he can sneak in some questions about how Keith’s doing every now and then during their brief update transmissions with the Garrison.

Sighing to himself, Shiro finally turns to his closet, and goes to open it. He grabs the one suitcase he has yet to unpack and places it on the bed before undoing the clasps, popping it open to start putting away the last of the clothes in there.

It’s not until he’s halfway done sorting through everything that he grabs a pair of pajama pants and two envelopes fall out from between the folded fabric of the legs. 

Shiro furrows his brows, looking down at where one of them landed on the floor by his feet. He puts the pants down and bends to pick it up before grabbing the other letter on his bed as well, then sits down on the mattress, tucking one foot under his thigh.

There’s nothing special about the envelopes themselves. Regular old white paper, with a small _“1.”_ and _“2.”_ written on them respectively.

Shiro has _no_ idea who would have put them in there. Adam automatically comes to mind, but they broke up and went back to living in separate rooms weeks before Shiro even started packing. Their final words to each other had been a terse goodbye the evening before the launch, when Adam came to ‘wish him a safe journey’, as he put it, while looking like he didn’t mean one word of it. Since Adam didn’t seem to have anything left to say to him then, Shiro can’t imagine his ex sneaking him some secret letter—let alone two.

Turning the envelope with the _“1.”_ on it over, Shiro gently slips the top flap open with a finger. His eyebrows lift as soon as he’s pulled out what’s in there. It’s a two papers-long handwritten letter, and Shiro easily recognizes the handwriting.

It’s the same small, sharp style the words on the back of the photo of him and Keith are written in—the one he’d asked Keith to sign.

Shiro scoots up on the bed, making himself comfortable by grabbing a pillow to place against the wall so he can lean back against it, any thoughts about unpacking forgotten. Just the first word makes him snort, but the grin quickly turns into a soft, fond smile as Shiro keeps reading.

  
  
  


Listen.

I mean, hi. I should say hey first.

Hey.

Okay, there. ~~Now: li~~

No, shit, wait (again).

Pretend it started like this:

Hey, Shiro! I miss you (whenever you’re reading this). Hope everything’s going well so far up in space. 

Alright. I could’ve probably just gotten new paper and started over but whatever. I promised myself I’d just write what I was thinking without caring how it sounds so, that’s what I’m trying to do here.

So yeah, listen.

(It’s Keith, by the way. If you hadn’t figured.)

First of all: I know this is really fucking lame. I need you to know that I know that. I’m not just talking about the fact that I’m writing you a letter I won’t even tell you about before you’re leaving, but... also what I’m about to say. It’d feel too weird to hand this to you in person and I’m sure you’d tear it open and read it right away (yeah even if I told you not to) so I’m just going to see if I can stick it in one of your bags without you even noticing instead. Or something. We’ll see how things go.

Maybe... I should really start by saying sorry for sneaking into your room? I swear I didn’t go through any of your stuff. I mean, I won’t go through them. I haven’t sneaked into your room yet. Obviously, since I’m sitting here writing this right now. But I won’t poke through your stuff. 

(Seriously! I wouldn’t. Pinky promise.)

(I hope you remember when you made that joke about pinky promises otherwise that’s also going to sound really stupid)

Anyway...

Fuck. This is ridiculous?! I don’t even know what I’m going to say??? I know what I want to say but I don’t know how to do it. Or if I should even tell you? Like I said... I know it’s really lame. I guess I’m just doing it anyway because I don’t wanna let you leave without telling you. But I don’t want it to be the last thing I say to your face if it makes things weird. I was kinda thinking about saying it when we were up on the rooftop because you’d brought the cheese doodles and blankets and everything but then of course you just had to ask if I wanted to come with you to the launch and talked about what a great friend I am aaand... ~~ARGH. Blah.~~ I just couldn’t. Not when you looked at me the way you did. That’s also the reason I really wanted to, though. 

Because I like the way you look at me. I like it too much. I think.

I like you too much. 

Except I don’t actually think it’s “too much” because it doesn’t feel like it’s a bad thing? People would be weird if they didn’t like you. Even I like you, and we all know everyone thinks I don’t like anyone at all. Guess you’re just very loveable you know ?

So... um. Yeah. There it is I guess.

~~I lo~~

~~I’m i~~

Damn it.

Swear you won’t laugh?

I love you, Shiro.

Holy shit that’s so weird to write when I’m thinking you might actually read this.

But I mean it.

If you... somehow... didn’t already know about that. Maybe you did. Thanks for not making fun of me for it if so (at least not to my face?).

And I already know what you’d say if I told you in person so shhhhhh.

“I’m so much older than you, Keith!”

Yeah well but you get that it wouldn’t even be weird in a couple of years, right? & You can stop frowning now because I’m telling you, I can’t look like I’m 14 forever. One day soon puberty’s gonna realize it’s time to kick in and I’ll get a surprise growth spurt or something, become all hot and hunky and muscled... probably grow even taller than you. My dad was almost your height and said my mom was even taller, so. I swear you won’t even know what hit you, Shirogane.

(Hopefully you’re too busy laughing right now to think about how embarrassing this is, heh.)

Okay, seriously though. Maybe you’d also say something about what will happen to you in a couple of years. I know you don’t want to talk about this and we never really did, but... I just wanna let you know that whatever happens in the future, I’ll still be here when you get back. You know that, right? Like, whatever your body gets up to, as long as you still want me around (as a friend, or whatever...), then we’ll still be flying together and I’ll kick your ass while we race, nothing held back. And if you have days where you can’t do those things then that’s okay too. I’ll drag you along on some adventure and we’ll still have fun somehow.

I don’t think I ever told you this and I don’t know how to say it right now without sounding ridiculous either, but there was a time in my life when I didn’t think anything could feel good again, you know? Like—I didn’t know if I’d ever be happy and think stuff were fun again? Then this guy showed up and he proved me wrong. Took some work, but he did it, because he stuck around (even if I was such a fucking ass to you most of the time at first...)

You just taught me that sometimes all you need is for someone to still have your back even when things get shitty too, you know? That’s when you can really prove both yourself and everyone else wrong and I think what I’m trying to say with this is just that it’s what I’m going to do for you too. If you ever need any help with anything when shit gets rough in the future, I’ll be your guy. Even if you hate everything and think life is really fucking unfair sometimes, I’ll be there.

That’s what you do when you love someone, right?

I don’t know.

I know I’m not that good with this stuff, but I think I’m getting better at just... caring about things lately.

A lot of it thanks to you.

You’re the best friend I’ve ever had and every day I’m just thankful you gave the shitty punk who stole your car a shot even if my teacher would have been happy ending your little visit without even asking me if I wanted to try flying (even before I’d messed things up for you). 

If I’m honest I still don’t fucking get why you stuck around after all the shit I pulled on you and ummm right sorry for that by the way. I know you’ve said I don’t have to say that, but. Y’know. I appreciate it. I appreciate you. Didn’t mean to make things so hard for you, but no one else has ever done that for me. Stuck around, I mean. Guess I thought acting Like That was just your whole thing at first? Like you didn’t actually care, not about me... but now after everything I can’t help but think maybe you don’t do the things you’ve done for me for just anyone else. I dunno. But whatever the reason, thanks.

I’ll make it up to you somehow someday (“Oh, Keith, you don’t have to do th—”, yeah well shut up, I want to and you deserve to have people do nice things for you too).

I love you.

Maybe one day I’ll tell you in person. If you still wanna talk to me after this. Like, I know you don’t feel the same, but that doesn’t matter to me. I don’t mind. You never have to be anything you’re not or pretend and stuff around me.

I’m gonna stop now and probably won’t break into your room to give you this after all but instead just pour gasoline on it at a spot out in the desert where no one can ever see it and just watch it go up in flames because I do get how stupid this is and ahhhhh

okay

Hmm, anyway.

If you actually get to read this just know I didn’t reread it a single time because that would’ve probably killed me and also I’m sorry. Not like I don’t mean anything I’ve written in here, but just—whatever. I don’t know. Sorry for being weird and embarrassing and writing more stuff in a secret letter like a 12 year old with a crush than I’ve told you in person to your face.

I hope you’re having fun with your rocks and ice samples and living with Nerd JR and Super Nerd SR for months (I mean don’t kid yourself, you’re a nerd too, but... I like that about you. You’re my favourite nerd.)

~~(Plus you’re really cute?? So I guess it’s okay).~~

Stay safe out there.

I’ll be here when you get back.

I’ll always be here.

\- K

  
  
  


Slowly lowering the letter, Shiro lets out a shaky breath he hadn’t realized he’d been holding. He tries to blink back the wetness gathered at the corners of his eyes, before immediately rereading it twice in a row.

The letter’s gone a little crumpled from how tightly his thumb is gripping the paper, and Shiro clears his throat.

It’s all so surprisingly heartfelt, every word so carefully earnest.

Not that it’s a surprise to hear Keith be so sweet, or even express himself this way. Keith’s always been a great writer, always expressive in whatever school work Shiro’s seen while helping him out. And Keith’s always all in when he sets his mind on something, and ever since Shiro earned his trust, Keith’s never once acted distant from him.

But it’s— _god._ Shiro never could’ve imagined _this._ No matter how much Adam might have teased him for ‘the kid with a celebrity crush trailing after you’, that’s never how Shiro has seen Keith, because he knows Keith has never seen _him_ as that guy on the posters that everyone else wants Shiro to act like. They’re friends, above all, but if Keith took the time to tell him the things Shiro just read in the letter—then Shiro knows that Keith means it, whole-heartedly and sincerely.

He sniffs to himself again, wiping at his nose as he thinks about it. About Keith sitting alone scrawling out words he’s been too afraid to say to Shiro’s face. He thinks of how Adam was right this whole time, no matter how many times Shiro tried to brush it off in the past, and Keith does have a crush on him. How Keith sounds so _scared_ of that fact, writing about it being okay if Shiro never wants to talk to him again, as if Shiro would ever cut him off just because of what Keith’s _feeling._

Shiro thinks about Keith now, how he’s doing, what he’s been up to—of the tight clench of his jaw when he waved Shiro off at the launch four days ago. How hard they had both hugged each other and how Keith had done his best not to cry while Shiro had tried to joke it off so _he_ wouldn’t start crying as well.

Missing Earth and what he leaves behind there is to be expected when piloting long missions. It’d be weird if Shiro _didn’t_ miss anything, really, when his routine is so abruptly changed for something as mentally taxing as living in a spaceship for months.

But at the end of the day, Shiro has always loved getting away. He’s always loved the solitude and the time he gets to spend with his own thoughts and the challenges it presents. And he _loves_ the joy of adventure, of going up in space, and all the things he can’t wait to experience every time he leaves.

More than anything else in life, Shiro loves the comfort of the pilot seat and having his hands on the handles, steering himself and whoever’s with him through the stars.

He wouldn’t trade that for anything.

But reading the letter from Keith, the sincerity so tangible even through words put on paper with black ink, Shiro realizes that he’s never really missed _someone_ before.

Not like this. Not this way. Not how he already misses Keith; his best friend.

It’s enough for Shiro to almost forget there’s a second envelope, and he hurries to put the first letter away before reaching for the next when he remembers.

He chokes out a laugh after he’s opened it and pulled out the drawing in there, and maybe there is a tear or two escaping from his eyes that he just can’t stop. The drawing is of him and Keith, out at their usual spot in the desert where they always take a little break after racing, to watch the sunset and talk about whatever in life before they head back to the Garrison.

“God... Keith...” Shiro whispers to himself and sniffs again, smiling, ridiculously touched by it all. 

He gets up and puts the letter back in its envelope with the _“1.”_ written on it on the desk, next to the photo of him and Keith. He leans the drawing between the space of the frames of his other two photos, still unable to stop grinning at it.

Shiro loves space, the stars, adventures. He loves his dreams—of going where no humans have ever been, of being the first one to make contact with aliens.

But looking at the drawing Keith has made, of the two of them sitting together on their cliff—Shiro can’t help but already think that once he returns to Earth, it’s going to be good to be back.

When he returns, Keith’s going to be far enough in his education that he’ll be able to go on real missions, and maybe they can even start exploring the universe together.

Shiro can’t _wait_ to see him again.


	2. I'll always be here.

Regaining consciousness is a slow-going thing. 

Keith’s mind keeps drifting in and out of thoughts he can’t capture. He remembers the scent of flowers upon waking, wondering if it’s proof _for_ or _against_ being dead. There’s the distant sound of a vague, familiar voice saying his name, before white noise and the black blur of dreamless sleep swallows him whole once more.

When he finally blinks his eyes open without immediately drifting off again, Keith is in a room he doesn’t recognize.

“Mom,” he says when he sees Krolia perched next to him on the bed and Kolivan sitting on the windowsill, but it’s rough to get the word out through his throat.

All of his senses feel overwhelmed and through everything that happens next, Keith keeps just wanting to close his eyes. He doesn’t know how much time passes between first waking and then getting a glass of water while listening to explanations of how everything _—everyone—_ is fine. Keith himself has been comatose for a little over three weeks, though, and any worried questions he tries to ask about the current state of the world quickly get shut down. Apparently he doesn’t need to worry about any of that right now.

Keith’s not so sure he believes that, but when even Kolivan emphasizes how important it is for him to rest—to trust that all is well and take in everything slowly—Keith snaps his mouth shut and decides to listen. If only because hearing _Kolivan_ say that makes him think it must really be true.

A doctor comes to ask questions while two nurses run some tests and remove the bandage on his head to clean up the slow-healing wound on Keith’s forehead. Then he finally gets to brush his teeth before the doctor shows him which button to press if he needs anything else and tells him to get some more rest. Keith nods, finally clear enough in his head he doesn’t feel so disoriented anymore.

As soon as he’s left alone with Krolia and Kolivan again, Keith turns to his mom. “Where’s—”

“Shiro had a speech he had to make,” Krolia cuts him off before Keith can even finish his question. She points to the now muted TV playing in the background where an officer Keith doesn’t recognize is being interviewed. “He was just finishing up right when you woke up.” Krolia smiles where’s she’s sitting next to him on the bed and places her palm over the back of Keith’s hand, giving it a reassuring squeeze. “Don’t you worry, Keith. You still got to wake up to his voice.”

Keith’s eyes go wide, his cheeks flaming red. _“Mom.”_ He pulls his hand back and crosses his arms, trying not to wince when it makes his ribs hurt.

“What?” Krolia says, looking the perfect picture of innocence as she puts her own hands in her lap. “I just think it’d sure be a shame otherwise, since your... _friend_... has spent every moment he hasn’t been working right here at your side.”

Keith swallows thickly at that, trying to figure out if it’s just his brain being scrambled and he’s misunderstood something. “The—the whole time?” he croaks.

“Of course,” Krolia says, voice softening. “As much as possible, Keith. We’ve had to force him to take breaks. He’ll be so happy to come back and see you’re finally awake.” She smiles at him again, far less teasing and more fond this time, a flash of worry in her eyes for a moment. “We are _all_ so happy you’re finally awake, Keith. People will be lining up to welcome you back.”

Keith feels his own chest swell with emotions at the relieved tone in his mom’s voice and the look on her face. It’s enough he can barely even feel anxious at the thought of countless people crowding into this room for the sole purpose of focusing all their attention on _him._

A smile spreads on Keith’s face, couldn’t be contained even if he tried to, but he doesn’t care about holding it back.

“I have to look so gross right now,” he mutters with a roll of his eyes and picks at some lint on the comforter. “Sorry I took so long to wake up.”

“The sight of you awake is a beautiful thing, Keith. No matter how long it would’ve taken you.” Krolia reaches out and strokes her hand down his cheek, still smiling softly. There’s a beep and she looks away to pull out a phone from her pocket, tapping away at the screen for a second.

“You have a phone?” Keith says. “A... human one?”

“I do.” Krolia pockets it again before standing up from the bed. “Well—if you’re doing alright and feel okay with being on your own for a short moment, we would like to go grab some coffee.”

Kolivan, who’s stayed so quiet that Keith almost forgot he was still there, perches up at that. “Yes!” he says, getting a little skip in his step as he heads for the door.

“You drink coffee?” Keith furrows his brows. “Human coffee?”

_“Love_ me some coffee,” Kolivan says.

“I—what is happening?” Keith whispers.

“We will be getting our energy beans, and you...” Krolia trails off, a secret smile on her face that Keith can’t read. “If you feel up for it, you should probably start to go over your gifts. Be sure you’ve seen some of them before you receive any visitors.”

“My gifts?” Keith says. 

Krolia waves one finger in the direction of the right-side end table next to Keith’s bed, which he hadn’t even realized is completely overflowing with flowers and stuffed animals. He stares in shock at it all, but before he can say anything else, Krolia takes his face gently in her palms and presses a kiss to his forehead.

“We will be right back. Alert the doctors should you need anything. Yes?”

“Yeah. Of course. Thanks, mom.”

Krolia nods, and then she’s walking out of the room with Kolivan.

Keith looks at the doors once they close, listening to the faint sound of voices in the hallway trailing off before everything goes completely silent. He pouts to himself for a moment, until he glances back at the mountain of gifts and flowers, and then he can’t help but grin again. There’s so _much_ of it—flowers everywhere, plushies, even a balloon of Voltron, and—

Keith spots a red envelope at the edge of the table and immediately reaches for it, a furrow forming between his brows.

It has a simple _“K.”_ written on the front, and a small black heart drawn right next to it.

Keith stares down at it, unsure what in the world to expect as he opens it and pulls out the letter inside.

  
  
  


Keith.

I am writing this sitting next to you while running low on sleep and the only light is from my arm. I hope you will forgive any ~~missta~~ mistakes.

I’m no poet with written words (not like you), but in case I can’t be here (god I hope I will be) when you wake up (and it is WHEN, Keith, I know it is, whether doctors say they can’t guarantee it or not), then I want you to still have... something, at least, from me.

~~I wish we could have~~

~~If I had the~~

Imagine constantly being told how good you are at making speeches and talking to people and still THIS is what I can’t put into words?

I’m good at knowing what others want to hear but I don’t want to tell you this because of that. I want to tell you because I mean it. Because you have told me twice now and I never had the chance to say it back. Or maybe I did. God, it’s ridiculous to say I didn’t, isn’t it? I could’ve told you SO many times these past years, but I guess I’ve been too scared. No—I don’t guess it, I know it. I’ve been too scared. I’m so sorry. At first I was scared of you changing your mind, of not being able to be what you need, or want, anymore. ~~Scared of how I almost fucking ki~~

Then I’ve been scared of how much I hurt you the last time you told me you love me.

But I love you, Keith. I love you, too. I love you so much.

I don’t know how to tell you because words don’t feel like they’re enough but I WILL still tell you in person once you’re awake. When your eyes are open again and I can hear your laugh and you will

Shit. ~~Fuck.~~ Sorry. ~~Fuck fuck fuck can’t you just wake up already?? I miss you so much I don’t know what to~~

I’m sitting right next to you Keith and still I miss you so much I don’t know what to do with myself? ~~How did YOU do this every time I was d~~

Really shouldn’t bring up that the first thing I do! Can’t believe some people think I’m good at this whole romance thing. Amazing what you can make people think of you, isn’t it?

(But you’ve always known me, haven’t you...?)

God. Maybe you will be the one who won’t want to talk to me anymore after this now. But. You were already brave years ago and I’ll be brave now. I’ll be brave for you.

I love you and I won’t lose you again.

More than anything, I just... I want us both to finally be together now, Keith. I don’t want to hide from it if there’s still a chance of us having that. If it’s still what you want too, even though it took me this long to get back to you.

I love you.

I love you I love you I love you.

Maybe I don’t have to make a big speech.

I love you I love you I love you I love you I love you I love you I love you I love you I love you I love you I love you I love you

You’re my hero and my best friend. You’re my everything, Keith. My life, my love. I don’t know who I’d be without you. I wouldn’t even be without you.

How do you make even the most difficult things feel so easy?

I love you so much.

If you’ll have me, if you still want me, I’m yours.

And if you don’t, I’ll still be yours, anyway.

Always yours.

I’ll be here when you get back.

I’ll always be here.

Love,

Your Shiro

  
  


Keith’s pretty sure he’s on the verge of hyperventilating when the doors to the room slide open again. He snaps his head up, eyes widening upon seeing none other than Shiro standing there with his hair wind-ruffled, uniform jacket askew, and uncharacteristically out of breath.

They both stare at each other, Shiro looking like he can’t believe his eyes.

“Keith,” he says, sounding both disbelieving and choked up as he stumbles a step further into the room. “I came as soon as I— _oh.”_

Shiro freezes in his tracks when his gaze falls to Keith’s lap, spotting the letter in his hands.

“You—” Keith stammers for something to say, his eyes never leaving Shiro’s face, still trying to make sense of his whole life. “Shiro, you’ve… you’ve never _said_ anything, I thought you didn’t—”

Keith shuts his mouth as Shiro stalks across the room to close the distance between them, and before Keith knows it, he’s being wrapped up in a big hug. Shiro’s left arm wraps around his back to hold him close, his Altean palm coming up to cup the back of Keith’s head. Keith makes a choked noise of pure longing for the comfort of being this close to the person he loves the most and he hugs him back hard, his nose getting smushed against Shiro’s shoulder.

“Shiro.” Keith’s voice cracks as he mumbles his name against his collarbone while leaning further into Shiro’s strong chest. “Shiro…”

“Keith—god, oh god—I’m—I’m so sorry,” Shiro babbles and pulls back, still keeping his palms on Keith’s shoulders as he studies him while Keith tries to wrap his head around what he’s talking about. “Sorry, are you—I just completely _crushed_ you and you’re in a _hospital bed—”_

Keith makes another noise and grabs him, pulling Shiro close again. “Don’t stop hugging me,” he mumbles against the fabric of Shiro’s uniform and then shamelessly inhales the scent of him. His jacket smells used, a little like outdoors and worn fabric, but Keith blinks wetly at the underlying scent of _Shiro_ —his cologne and skin, all of the most comforting things in this universe to Keith.

Shiro chuckles, a strangled sound, and then Keith gets squeezed even tighter. “God. _Keith._ Keith. You’re—”

He cuts himself off, sounding so choked up, before he turns his head to press a kiss to Keith’s hair.

“Shiro,” Keith whispers back.

“Oh, Keith…” Shiro says, voice cracking at the end.

“Stop it,” Keith says and sniffs. _“Stop._ You’ll make me cry.”

Shiro laughs and eases back again, taking hold of Keith’s face in his palms this time. “If you cry, then I’ll cry,” he murmurs and strokes his thumbs beneath the corners of Keith’s eyes.

Keith circles his hands around Shiro’s wrists, his breath shaking out of him. “I missed you so much, Shiro.”

“Yeah?” Shiro says, a hint of amusement easing into his voice, even though he still looks worried and searching, as if he could spot any hints of something being wrong while he studies Keith’s face. “Been lonely while you’ve been sleeping?”

“Yes,” Keith says, embarrassingly earnest and without hesitation. “I’ve _missed_ you.”

“I’ve been with you the whole time,” Shiro says gently, still holding Keith’s face as he sits down on the hospital bed next to Keith’s side. “Well, almost. I’ve tried to.”

Keith swallows thickly, realizing suddenly just how close they are, how wrapped up in each other they are. “Shiro,” he says, tightening his hold on Shiro’s wrists. “Your letter. Did you really—”

Shiro drops his hands from Keith’s cheeks, making Keith pull his own hands back when Shiro straightens up and flicks his gaze away. Keith’s heart plummets, immediately missing the close touch, but Shiro doesn’t give him much time to question things before he looks back at Keith again, a determined look on his face. “I meant it, Keith,” he says. “I—god, I would've wanted to tell you in person, god knows that’s what you deserved after all this time, but I—Keith. I meant every word. No matter how _you_ feel, I’ll—”

Keith doesn’t let himself think things through or bother waiting for Shiro to finish that sentence.

He grabs Shiro’s face in his hands and pulls him down the short distance to close the space between them, and then their lips press together. It’s off-centre and close-mouthed, hard and a little weirdly dry, but Keith’s heart feels like a small bomb of pure _happiness_ goes off in his chest. He makes a noise against Shiro’s mouth and tilts his face to fit their lips even better together, and then he presses in closer, maybe a little aggressively.

“Keith— _mm_ …” Shiro mumbles against his lips, toppling forward on the bed so he has to plant his palms on either side of Keith’s body to steady himself against the mattress. “Hey, hey, Keith, buddy. Your ribs—”

“I don’t give a _shit_ about my ribs, Shiro,” Keith growls and kisses him again, trying to make something proper of it happening, but Shiro starts giggling against his mouth. Keith tilts his head head back, glowering at Shiro’s grinning face. “And don’t call me ‘buddy’ right now.”

Shiro laughs louder, wrapping his left arm around Keith’s back and then he hugs him close, tucking his face against Keith’s neck for a moment. “Keith—”

_“Kiss,_ Shiro,” Keith whines, can’t even care how petulant he sounds. 

Shiro pulls back, red-cheeked and still grinning in disbelief. He closes the distance between them, giving Keith an actual _kiss_ this time, and Keith’s heart hammers so hard in his chest as he parts his lips, determined to finally find out what it’s like to—

Shiro pulls back again.

Keith starts pouting, but then immediately melts when Shiro whispers, “I love you,” and cups the side of Keith’s jaw in his Altean palm.

“Yeah?” he whispers back, still holding Shiro’s face.

“God, yes. So much, Keith.”

Keith squints his eyes. “Are you sure?” he says, half-serious, but he starts smiling too.

Shiro laughs and holds Keith’s face still when he presses a hard kiss to his cheek, murmuring there, “Love you so, _so_ much.” He pulls back, looking at him for a long moment before he says, “Do _you_ love me?”

“Of course I love you.”

“Even after all this time?” Shiro says, smiling but Keith can tell he’s serious too.

“I’ve always loved you,” Keith says and strokes his thumbs across Shiro’s cheeks, watching his face go all soft and sweet. “And I’ll always love you.”

“I’ll always love you too.”

Keith closes his eyes, feeling overwhelmed again. “I honestly can’t tell if this is a dream, but if it is, I don’t think I wanna wake up.”

“It’s not,” Shiro hurries to reassure him. “It’s not, Keith, I swear—”

“No,” Keith cuts him off and squints his eyes in thought. “I guess it isn’t. If it was, you would’ve kissed me with tongue by now.”

“What?” Shiro snorts, eyebrows lifting in surprise before he gathers himself, a twinkle in his eyes as his expression settles into something more playful. “You don’t need a dream for that to happen, Keith.”

“No? Kinda seems like it.”

Shiro chuckles and shakes his head to himself in disbelief, then murmurs, “C’mere.”

He moves his hand to hold Keith’s chin and pulls him in, and Keith makes an embarrassingly eager noise as soon as he gets Shiro’s mouth back on his own. This time Shiro’s sure in the way he kisses him, parting his lips without hesitation when Keith does the same, sliding his tongue inside Keith’s mouth. Another moan leaves Keith and he desperately tries to kiss Shiro even deeper.

“Easy, Keith,” Shiro murmurs against his lips, nipping playfully at his bottom lip.

Keith shivers, but still manages to say, “I told you, I’m fine—”

Shiro chuckles, tilting his head away just enough to lick his lips. “I meant—you can go easy. On the tongue.”

“Wow.” Keith stares at him. “That bad, huh?”

“No! No, god, no. Just—” Shiro rubs his thumb at Keith’s chin. “I’m not going anywhere, baby, I promise.”

“Oh.” Keith’s eyes widen and then he surges in and kisses him again, doesn’t care about Shiro’s promise because the thought of doing this as much as he wants only makes Keith want him _more._ “Say that again,” he says against Shiro’s lips as Shiro slides both hands to Keith’s neck and into the hair at the back of his head. “Shiro, say it again—”

“Can’t—mm, can’t talk if you, ah—Keith—”

Keith groans into the next kiss but soon enough Shiro’s laughing again and then Keith can’t hold back his own laughter. 

“Shiro,” Keith still whispers and closes his eyes when Shiro leans their foreheads together. “Please say it again.”

“That this isn’t a dream?” Shiro murmurs. “I’m not going anywhere?”

“Mm, yeah, but… you know.”

“What do you mean?”

“The—” Keith stops and glares at him when he sees the grin on Shiro’s face, then squints his eyes in a way he hopes conveys that Shiro can be a little bit of an idiot sometimes.

Shiro laughs again. “This is real,” he murmurs against Keith’s lips, then kisses him softly and breathes against his mouth, “baby.”

Keith kisses him deeper, lets any conversation fall away to learning what it’s like to have Shiro’s lovely mouth against his own, savouring every sweet little sigh and low moan Shiro lets out against his lips. They kiss until Keith’s jaw feels tired, his body stiff from sitting in the same position for so long, but he still never wants it to end even as they finally part and lean their foreheads together.

Keith closes his eyes with a smile and whispers, “Man… I can’t believe you made me wait so long for you.”

“Sorry,” Shiro says, not teasing or sheepish, sounding so sincere and guilty. “I’m so sorry, Keith—”

“Hey—Shiro, I was just kidding,” Keith says, pulling back enough so he can look at him and gently stroke Shiro’s bangs back. “I would’ve waited a lifetime for you.”

Shiro looks at him wide-eyed. “I would never have done that to you.”

“Still. I would have waited.”

_“Keith_.”

“I’ve told you, didn’t I? You’re stuck with me forever now.” Keith grins and then Shiro kisses him again, but Keith’s the one who pulls away this time. “Okay, hey, wait. I wanna reread your letter.”

“What?” Shiro says and looks down, then immediately tries to reach for the red envelope with his left hand, but Keith snags it out of reach. 

“No, stop that!” Keith laughs when Shiro switches hand. “Keep your floating arm away from me.”

“You sure that’s what you want?” Shiro says and then his Altean hand rests on Keith’s waist, slipping down just enough to tease at the hem of his shirt and the start of bare skin beneath.

Keith inhales sharply, feeling the flush that’s already on his face from all the kissing they’ve been doing deepen. “Shiro,” he says, lowering the hand with the letter back to the mattress.

“Sorry,” Shiro murmurs, but he keeps his hand where it is, rubbing his thumb at a strip of bare skin. “Too much?”

“No,” Keith says breathlessly. “No, I— _hey!”_

He snags Shiro’s wrist in his hand when Shiro goes for the letter again, wrestling him away.

“Hey, be careful, I’m injured,” Keith says and Shiro pulls back from even playfully trying to fight him for it. Keith gives him a quick look up and down. “Not that I couldn’t win anyway.”

Shiro huffs out a laugh. “Yeah. You did tell me you’d get all buff one day, didn’t you?”

Keith chokes down a noise in embarrassment at the reminder of _his_ old letter that he’d tucked away in Shiro’s folded pajama pants years ago.

“And I _knew_ you’d start liking me once I did.”

“Wanna know a secret?” Shiro murmurs and plants his palms on either side of Keith’s hips, leaning in so close Keith gets pressed back against the pillows he’s propped up against. “I liked you way before that growth spurt ever happened.”

“No, you didn’t,” Keith says.

“I did,” Shiro murmurs, the corner of his mouth twitching with a smirk. “Soon as we settled into things at the Castle of Lions, I just wanted to—”

“Shh!” Keith presses a finger to Shiro’s lips. Shiro eyebrows lift in question, but he’s still smiling. “You, uh. You’re definitely gonna have to tell me all about that very soon, but—maybe sometime when my mom can’t walk in any second. And I’m—stop distracting me because I’m definitely going to reread your letter now, no matter what you try to do. And that’s _not_ a challenge, don’t even think about it.”

Shiro laughs but as soon as Keith drops his hand from his mouth, he still says, “Keith, there’s no need for—”

“Yes. Yes, there is. There’s _so_ much need to reread it. I’m framing this, y’know. It’s gonna hang somewhere I can look at it whenever I want.”

“I’m never visiting your place, then.”

“I’ll make it a mantle centerpiece once we move in together.”

Shiro slumps forward from his giggling, burying his face against the crook of Keith’s neck again.

“Why are you making fun of me?” he murmurs against Keith’s skin.

“I’m not making fun of you,” Keith says and closes his eyes with a shiver. He turns his head so he can nose at Shiro’s hairline, pressing a kiss there before smiling wide as he looks down at Shiro’s letter. “I love you. And I love your letter.”

Shiro pulls back again to look at him. “Yours was a lot sweeter.”

Keith scoffs. “I was an embarrassing teenager.”

“No, you weren’t!”

“Yes, I was. Can’t believe you even like that loser.”

“You weren’t embarrassing _or_ a loser.” Shiro pouts at him. “You made me cry.”

“I didn’t. Shut up.”

_“You_ shut up. I cried so much, Keith. And your drawing? Do you know how sad I am that I lost those?” Shiro sighs before he starts looking lost in thought for a moment, so Keith stays silent and waits him out. “Um. Hey, Keith?”

“Yeah?”

“Uh, so I know you’re in the hospital right now and you just woke up, but—I’ve been thinking.”

“Okay,” Keith says gently and strokes his palm up and down the hair at the back of Shiro’s head. The short buzz isn’t as prickly as Keith’s used when he’s done this before, so Shiro must really have been busy.

“I kinda would like to go back.”

Keith’s eyebrows raise. “Back?”

“To Kerberos, I mean,” Shiro says.

“Oh?”

“It’s—they say the ship is still there. No one’s dared to venture back of course, so… unless it’s been raided or something by some other species, maybe my things will still be there. Maybe… you would like to come with me?”

“Shiro,” Keith says slowly. “I love you very much and, yes, I will absolutely come with you and I’m honoured that you asked, but just so you know—you’re making it very hard for me to appreciate it fully when you’re saying it like it’s because you wanna find that dumb old letter.”

Shiro laughs. “It _is_ because of that lovely old letter. I mean, kinda. Mostly. I need that letter, okay? And your drawing. Now _that_ is something to hang above the mantle.”

“No. No, Shiro, _no one_ will ever look at it except you if it’s still there.”

“I’m gonna read your letter at our wedding.”

“Shiro,” Keith hisses, feeling his cheeks burn. “I’d fucking die.”

“Nuh-uh. I would never let that happen.”

“Well then you’d better keep that letter away from me, right?”

Shiro laughs more while shaking his head before he leans in to kiss him again. “You’re the cutest person I know. You know that, baby?”

“You’re the only person that _I_ know who would call me cute,” Keith mutters against his lips.

“Yeah, but you’ve never sent any other guys a handwritten love letter, have you?”

“No.” Keith smiles and scrunches his nose. “I guess you’re just special like that.”

Shiro moves the tip of his nose against Keith’s own, still smiling too when he says, “So you’ll come with me?” 

“Yeah,” Keith says and kisses him again. “I’d follow you anywhere.”

Shiro sighs and closes his eyes, leaning their foreheads together again. “Hey, Keith?”

“Yeah?”

“It’s good to have you back.” 

Keith wraps his arms around Shiro’s shoulders and pulls him in for another hard hug.

“It’s good to be back,” he says.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> thanks so much for reading!! i'd love to hear your thoughts if u feel like it! 💕
> 
> [twitter](https://twitter.com/sugarcubeshiro)


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